One of the most devastating excerpts of my favorite book — the name of the wind — is when the protagonist recounts the tale of his biggest loss. Perhaps the deepest pain he holds inside. Perhaps the…


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Me learning to code.

We are starting week 10 of our 12 week coding boot camp and I’m feeling a hint of impostor syndrome. We are nearing the end and I thought I would be more comfortable in the development world by this time. The above GIF is my interpretation of myself going through this process: confident enough to take a couple of steps but as soon as I let go of my mom (in this case, my instructor) I stumble backwards in adorable hilarity. The baby horse is cuter than me in this scenario.

Though I do really feel like a baby horse some days, I am excited to be where I’m at, though my confidence is still shaky. So far we’ve touched upon HTML, CSS, JavaScript, AngularJS, SQL, and C#. While I guess that means we are now baby full-stack developers, I feel that there are still some areas that give me trouble.

Here’s a roundup of where I think I stand, starting with the best for me:

The “view” is still where I’m most comfortable — HTML and CSS. This is not a surprise given my background as a designer and the fact I’m such a visual person.

The runner up for me though is (drum roll)….DATABASE STUFF? This was such an unexpected surprise because I went into this thinking I would hate them. I really enjoyed learning SQL and subsequently C# and JS querying methods. Reflecting on this, I decided this is because I have experience working with data and how it might be used, coming from marketing.

Angular is coming along for me. We kind of rushed through it the first time so I wasn’t sure what I absorbed about it. Now that we are circling back around and hooking everything up, I’m getting used to it. It still doesn’t feel to natural to me, but our UIs haven’t been too complicated so maybe I just need more practice.

C# came easier to me than I expected. It helps that the error messaging can be super clear so it is easier to work through a problem. As someone who thought they would come to coding with a focus on Front End Development, I was uncertain of how I would take to C# and more of the Back End. Since I will be working with this heavily in the coming years, I’m pretty happy I took to it as well as I did.

Though Angular definitely makes things a little easier, basic JavaScript still scares me a little. I think I’m jittery because it was the part of the cohort where I encountered the most frustration. Unlike C#, errors can be vague and, for an inexperienced developer at least, halt things for hours at a time. For how much we had to get done in little time, this could be super stressful. I will acknowledge that circling back things have been better, so I might be able to chalk it up to the fact it was also my very first experience thinking about logic and having to code that up. Time will tell.

What feeling unsure means to me:

The problem I’m having with feeling shaky about some things is that I love teaching. My favorite part of any job is helping people do theirs well. I want to feel proficient enough to teach this stuff and I just don’t feel that yet. Until I get to a place of confidence, I won’t feel comfortable showing someone the way, even if I know it.

I feel way more knowledgeable and empowered than week one for sure, but I’ve got a ways to go before I can elegantly gallop through a green field (we are back to the horse thing). It will take focus and a lot of Googling, but I think I’ll get there.

What I know for sure? The title of this article is in CamelCase! Look at me learning!

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